Hi to everyone reading this!
Yesterday, I was privileged and grateful to be speaking at a function to professionals.
I endeavoured to be ready to go, have all the essentials to speak about and ready to face the large crowd. I have been teaching alongside my private practice for the past 12 years in various organisations – so I thought (wrongly) that due to speaking to large crowds on many occasions – that I had it ‘sorted’.
Though clearly I wasn’t ready – due to the nature of the questions and comments. Perhaps some may consider I’ve been hard on myself – though some who attended, may not.
In the therapeutic teaching space, we need to have empathy for all of the people who’ve attended, as well as the workshop facilitator or leader.
Over the past few years, I’ve been teaching and training people in online therapy too – that I thought I had this presentation in the bag.
I’ve learned again – as I have done before – never assume anything when large numbers of humans are involved.
I’m now admitting, this morning, I’ve woken up having a vulnerability hangover (Brown, 2012). I had a good cry to myself overnight and this morning at how I didn’t achieve everything I wanted to achieve – though I’ve acknowledged my humanity in the process.
Brown (2012) from her ‘Listening to Shame’ TED talk – intimates that it is very clear that we are seen differently to how we intend to be seen when speaking publicly. And this was what I was left with after the presentation yesterday. I certainly meant to stay to topic (when I didn’t) and ensure everybody got what they came for (I hope that they did) – that overnight I went into a pit of shame, self-doubt and guilt (Brown, 2012).
I didn’t say a proper goodbye to everyone and thank people for coming. That is my standard practice of being a gracious host and presenter. I do appreciate people coming to hear what I have to say and know they have taken time out of their day – so thank you.
I think our challenge in these new post-social media times is to be able to listen – when people say unpopular things and carefully consider if the person has something completely new to say.
The interesting thing about this – and writing this here – is I’m writing to you in the hope of forgiveness of my humanity if you were there – and admission of none of us are perfect and best laid plans can go out the window.
Being one person alone presenting and facing multiple questions and people can be really tricky to manage and manage time too. So I hope out of this – there’s some good learning for us all. Courage is being able to face your fears in your heart (Brown, 2010).
Ultimately, what I spoke of in the presentation yesterday – regarding my concerns for the future of mental health care and counselling in the online environment and therapists in business – is what I have been seeing coming a mile off, as there are more and more technology companies are taking over the therapy space, rather than counsellors, psychologists and psychotherapists providing online counselling in their own DIY way.
Since the talk yesterday, I read the following – and well-timed article. That backs up what I have found when working in business and online – that counsellors and psychotherapists need to consider themselves as business people, not just private practitioners in business – in the new digital age – so that monopolies don’t take over the online therapeutic space.
Though, unfortunately, that is starting to happen.
These days, I consider myself to be a therapist entrepreneur, not just a private practitioner. So I feel compelled to speak up about this business practice – as we need to be providing the best possible service to our clients.
It would be remiss of me not to mention my concerns here of what is happening to some technological companies that are designing online therapy services without therapist or enough client input, though some clearly are. It depends on who is doing the designing. There’s also now chatbot therapy that may replace humans providing the human-to-human connection of therapy itself.
So my reason for striving and challenging within a presentation are many – we need to know what we know and what we don’t and there may be things out of all of our awareness.
This can be highlighted in the Johari Window, or the Four Stages of Competence.
So, at the end of the day, we humans need to connect in better ways with technology – so that we don’t end up replacing humans with jobs only humans can do.
I hope this blog post may be seen as a courageous share of struggle, connection and hope. If we can work together, we can get more done. These days – I’m open minded about how I collaborate with you – or with businesses and practitioners. I have a partnership podcast, provide training, coaching and standard counselling and psychotherapy and many other collaborations on the boil.
As President Roosevelt originally said, and Brown (2012) proposes – “it is not the critic who counts; not the one who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…”
My encouragement to you is to dare greatly – challenge yourself in these challenging times and believe in yourself.
